*sigh* I wish I could show you how good it feels to be without him. I feel like a new person; f r e e. I can breathe now. It's so.. good. I wouldn't have known what it feels like to be treated properly if I had continued with him. I now know what it is so be *dare I say it* happy.
A word seldom escaping from my mouth is now a feeling I can say I have. A feeling which mimics itself from the aura of another and flows throughout me, though it isn't constant, it is here. So surreal. I sit here allowing Chopin to sweep me off my feet and carry me into a world of an uttered euphoric feeling, rarely have I entered. Ne'er a time had the feeling of warm, 'liquid escape' creeping into my blood, nor clouded breaths emerging from my curved lips permitted genuine smiles...(t.b.c=))
In other news, I feel good. Good riddance to bad company.
POW!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Friday, October 2, 2009
Today, my name is Dolly.
This post is written mainly out of frustration. Why do people take me for a fool? Why do people think that behind my pretty face that it's an empty, thoughtless abyss?
Let me state, I am not a fucking idiot. Okay?
Let's put it this way, while you're sitting there playing your little childish games, I'm watching. I'm playing the same game you are, I played it before. I know the secret passages, the short cuts and any other fucking references you wanna throw in there. I'm not angry, don't get me wrong. It's not even funny or entertaining to me anymore. I'm just sick of the foolishness. It's 2009, you are of age; grow up. Tell me what you want from me and that will be it. Why you chose to take the long way around things beats me. I'm done with the games and the trivial pursuit. Come correct and 100 percent. *sigh* When will you people learn?
The one thing I find funny about this all, is why do you ask me why I don't call you, text you or why I don't chill with you? Honestly take a brief look at yourself and don't come to me with your stupidness. As I said earlier, I'm done with the games. When will you? It's ok though, I'll probably be gone by the time you decide to put down the controller.
C'est la vie. Life goes on with or without you.
Let me state, I am not a fucking idiot. Okay?
Let's put it this way, while you're sitting there playing your little childish games, I'm watching. I'm playing the same game you are, I played it before. I know the secret passages, the short cuts and any other fucking references you wanna throw in there. I'm not angry, don't get me wrong. It's not even funny or entertaining to me anymore. I'm just sick of the foolishness. It's 2009, you are of age; grow up. Tell me what you want from me and that will be it. Why you chose to take the long way around things beats me. I'm done with the games and the trivial pursuit. Come correct and 100 percent. *sigh* When will you people learn?
The one thing I find funny about this all, is why do you ask me why I don't call you, text you or why I don't chill with you? Honestly take a brief look at yourself and don't come to me with your stupidness. As I said earlier, I'm done with the games. When will you? It's ok though, I'll probably be gone by the time you decide to put down the controller.
C'est la vie. Life goes on with or without you.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Today, my name is M.I.A.
Well well well. It seems I have been quite absent and slacking in my duties to report my events and activities.
I'm really not too sure why I haven't been on much lately, but I'm back =)
*3 cheers for me!*
Any who, I've had sooo many things happen to me in the longest while and I just haven't thought to update you guys.. Sorry! So, I'm just going to try to update you guys quickly on the things that have happened to me in the past couple of months.
For starters, I NOW have my car. Although I still drive my moms, at least I can say I have one to call my own =).
My uncle gave it to me, and I am ever so grateful. It's not the newest car or the most recent model, but it does drive. I pride myself in having my car smelling like heaven and rainbows at all times!
My trip to Jamaica. I know half of you don't know, but I went to Jamaica for about a month in the summer for a vacation and to just spend some time with family members I haven't seen since I was 2. It was reaalllllyyy fun there, but I don't think I'll be leaving the country for a month ever again. I missed way too many things here.
One of the most interesting things that happened to me while I was there occured at a strip club. Long story short, I went to a strip club and the strippers seemed to admire my chest a little too much. As I was sitting beside my cousin watching them work the pole, a stripper named Rain made her way off the stage and onto my lap. Not only did I receive multiple free lap dances (BONUS!), but she insisted on tearing off my shirt and removing my uhh.. assets from their..nest. The entire club (and I mean everyone) was staring at my tits. That was a night to remember =)
September 15 2009, my godson Brayden Liam Smith was born. I was sooo excited and yet pissed. I had told my best friend to call me as soon and she went into labor because I really wanted to be there when he was born. Well, not IN the delivery room.. I wasn't trying to see all of that. I was in class and at around 12 pm, I receive a message from my blackberry informing me that Dana had sent me a message. It said 'I had him'. Now, what the fuck? lol.. I was so angry. I was going to leave my class and drive over to her house. I told her I was mad and she was laughing..lol.. She sent me a picture of that little heart breaker and I couldn't be mad anymore. I just hope I can be a good godmother!
And now we get into the bad shit.
I'm not gonna air my dirty laundry right now, but lets just say that family is just a word. I don't wanna hear any philosical bullshit on how family is the foundation of BLAH BLAH BLAH. Fuck it.
The way it stands right now, is if you don't live in my house, I don't give a fuck. I mean, yeah, there are certain family members who I love to death, but as for most of them, they can lick the inside of a public toilet clean with their tongue. If I were to see them on the street on fire, I wouldn't even spit on them. It's whatever though. Dee, Grimz & 23 I love you fuckers ^.^
Now that I remember... While I was in Jamaica, I asked my sister to do a couple little things for me.
I'm really not too sure why I haven't been on much lately, but I'm back =)
*3 cheers for me!*
Any who, I've had sooo many things happen to me in the longest while and I just haven't thought to update you guys.. Sorry! So, I'm just going to try to update you guys quickly on the things that have happened to me in the past couple of months.
For starters, I NOW have my car. Although I still drive my moms, at least I can say I have one to call my own =).
My uncle gave it to me, and I am ever so grateful. It's not the newest car or the most recent model, but it does drive. I pride myself in having my car smelling like heaven and rainbows at all times!
My trip to Jamaica. I know half of you don't know, but I went to Jamaica for about a month in the summer for a vacation and to just spend some time with family members I haven't seen since I was 2. It was reaalllllyyy fun there, but I don't think I'll be leaving the country for a month ever again. I missed way too many things here.
One of the most interesting things that happened to me while I was there occured at a strip club. Long story short, I went to a strip club and the strippers seemed to admire my chest a little too much. As I was sitting beside my cousin watching them work the pole, a stripper named Rain made her way off the stage and onto my lap. Not only did I receive multiple free lap dances (BONUS!), but she insisted on tearing off my shirt and removing my uhh.. assets from their..nest. The entire club (and I mean everyone) was staring at my tits. That was a night to remember =)
September 15 2009, my godson Brayden Liam Smith was born. I was sooo excited and yet pissed. I had told my best friend to call me as soon and she went into labor because I really wanted to be there when he was born. Well, not IN the delivery room.. I wasn't trying to see all of that. I was in class and at around 12 pm, I receive a message from my blackberry informing me that Dana had sent me a message. It said 'I had him'. Now, what the fuck? lol.. I was so angry. I was going to leave my class and drive over to her house. I told her I was mad and she was laughing..lol.. She sent me a picture of that little heart breaker and I couldn't be mad anymore. I just hope I can be a good godmother!
And now we get into the bad shit.
I'm not gonna air my dirty laundry right now, but lets just say that family is just a word. I don't wanna hear any philosical bullshit on how family is the foundation of BLAH BLAH BLAH. Fuck it.
The way it stands right now, is if you don't live in my house, I don't give a fuck. I mean, yeah, there are certain family members who I love to death, but as for most of them, they can lick the inside of a public toilet clean with their tongue. If I were to see them on the street on fire, I wouldn't even spit on them. It's whatever though. Dee, Grimz & 23 I love you fuckers ^.^
Now that I remember... While I was in Jamaica, I asked my sister to do a couple little things for me.
- Make sure no one goes in my room.
- Take care of my pets.
That's all I asked. Now, making sure no one goes into my room seems easy.. right? I mean, I have my laptop in my room and she's in here all the time on it. If it were you, wouldn't you at least try to make the room seem presentable for when i get back? My garbage was flooding over, I had clothes all over the floor..Wait, no.. I left the clothes there..lol But got damn! At least take out my garbage. And now for my pets; I had 2 birds, 2 hamsters, 1 fish and 1 dog. To feed the birds and the hamsters, all you have to do is empty the container and refill it. To feed the fish, just put 4 pebbles in the tank every like 5 hours and she knew how to feed the dog. I came back home to an empty bird cage and to see a hamster half eaten.. WHAT THE FUCK. I asked her how the fuck she managed to kill most of my pets and her response was 'Well, at least your birds died together like they did in the Notebook'. How the hell are you gonna tell me that? lol I've had those birds for like 2 years! In regards to my hamsters, she said 'I was in your room yesterday and there were two'. Yes Rochelle, YESTERDAY! What the hell could she have done to my hamster in a day!? I went in to take out the dead hamster and noticed that my other hamster got a little hungry because she wasn't feeding them so my hamster decided to dine on the other one. I came back home to a purple fish tank...And I'm not talking about the tank itself. The water was purple... I don't even wanna know how or why. I couldn't even SEE through it to see if I still had a fish! Today, I have 1 dog, 1 fish and 1 hamster with herpes. Don't ask. I don't even know.
Yeesh, I'll leave it at that for now. I have plenty more to write but I don't wanna give you all nosebleeds from all this reading. One of these days, or probably later on today, I'm gonna write some shit that I've had on my mind for a while now but I'll give it a rest. I PROMISE to write regularly because I've had a few people come and talk to me, yelling at me because I haven't written anything since ..*looks to see when the last blog was posted* MAY!? WOOOW!!! Well, I'm back and there will be more of me to love =)
Mlle Mouse signing out!
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Today, my name is Age.
I've been meaning to write this post for about a month now but I haven't gotten around to it because I've been in school. This post refers to guys that I have come into contact with. Not all guys, so please remember that when reading. Thank you, and I'll just jump right into it =)...
Aaliyah was right when she said "Age ain't nothin' but a number" because it really and truly isn't for more reasons than one. Guys today are fucked. lol.. I'm sorry but honestly, dudes these days are on something. I talk to guys yeah, I talk to different kinds of guys. Following this, I will go on to describe a couple guys that I know. They will remain unnamed.
Dude 1
Dude number 1 is too freakishly cool to be younger than me. We relate and we talk about some SERIOUS issues, ones that I couldn't even talk to with guys my own age or older. I swear, if him and I were age, we'd chill a lot more than we do now. He does his thing and I've noticed that many of the times when he does, friends his own age comment and make light of the situation when it isn't something to be taken lightly. He is mature for his age. This is dude number 1.
Dude 2
Dude number 2 is the same age as dude number 1. Dude number 2 is also a cool person. He has his head on his shoulders and knows what he wants in life. Except, he is still into the whole.. "Yeah, I'm (insert age here) and I'm gonna have sex with (insert absurd number here) girls before the end of June!". Dude number 2 is still about wetting his beak (or so to speak) and he has yet to realize that there will always be pussy. Women are not going extinct. Why do I care? I care because I was talking to dude number 2. Things happened and that's enough about dude number 2.
Dude 3
Both dude number 1 & 2 were younger than me. Dude number 3 is almost 10 years older than me. Lets expose his business right now because he deserves it =). lol..Kidding!! Ok, so dude number 3 gets mad at someone because she got mad because he did something he wasn't supposed to. Dude number 3 also got another chick mad because he was supposed to do something he didn't. (Confused yet?) Ok long story short, dude 3 got dissed, got pissed and tried to diss chick number 2. (Don't ask where chicks came in or where number 1 is). He got dissed (again) and then started acting like a little bitch. Laughing in texts in serious situations, basically saying that he doesn't care. (We all know you do T =)
I've come to realize that age means NOTHING when it comes to maturity. Guys mature at different ages, as do women. So if you're talking to someone younger than you or older than you, just think and remember that unless it's illegal, there's nothing wrong. You'll either have a youngin' that philosophises (Timbot) or an old man that acts like he needs to be weaned off the tit. Age is seriously just a number that limits you from doing certain things, so don't take it too seriously. They'll learn.
Aaliyah was right when she said "Age ain't nothin' but a number" because it really and truly isn't for more reasons than one. Guys today are fucked. lol.. I'm sorry but honestly, dudes these days are on something. I talk to guys yeah, I talk to different kinds of guys. Following this, I will go on to describe a couple guys that I know. They will remain unnamed.
Dude 1
Dude number 1 is too freakishly cool to be younger than me. We relate and we talk about some SERIOUS issues, ones that I couldn't even talk to with guys my own age or older. I swear, if him and I were age, we'd chill a lot more than we do now. He does his thing and I've noticed that many of the times when he does, friends his own age comment and make light of the situation when it isn't something to be taken lightly. He is mature for his age. This is dude number 1.
Dude 2
Dude number 2 is the same age as dude number 1. Dude number 2 is also a cool person. He has his head on his shoulders and knows what he wants in life. Except, he is still into the whole.. "Yeah, I'm (insert age here) and I'm gonna have sex with (insert absurd number here) girls before the end of June!". Dude number 2 is still about wetting his beak (or so to speak) and he has yet to realize that there will always be pussy. Women are not going extinct. Why do I care? I care because I was talking to dude number 2. Things happened and that's enough about dude number 2.
Dude 3
Both dude number 1 & 2 were younger than me. Dude number 3 is almost 10 years older than me. Lets expose his business right now because he deserves it =). lol..Kidding!! Ok, so dude number 3 gets mad at someone because she got mad because he did something he wasn't supposed to. Dude number 3 also got another chick mad because he was supposed to do something he didn't. (Confused yet?) Ok long story short, dude 3 got dissed, got pissed and tried to diss chick number 2. (Don't ask where chicks came in or where number 1 is). He got dissed (again) and then started acting like a little bitch. Laughing in texts in serious situations, basically saying that he doesn't care. (We all know you do T =)
I've come to realize that age means NOTHING when it comes to maturity. Guys mature at different ages, as do women. So if you're talking to someone younger than you or older than you, just think and remember that unless it's illegal, there's nothing wrong. You'll either have a youngin' that philosophises (Timbot) or an old man that acts like he needs to be weaned off the tit. Age is seriously just a number that limits you from doing certain things, so don't take it too seriously. They'll learn.
LIVELOVELIFE
Today, my name is Wednesday.
I feel like Wednesday Addams. In other news...
This pain hurts more than a thousand daggers pointed at your softest part.
It began from the chest, and accelerated to the rest of my lifeless body.
As the tears well up in my eyes, my heart races with emotions too strong to describe.
This pain is more than labour. It is more than a flesh wound, cut or a bruise; it is internal.
I blame myself. I caused it I just can’t stop it. My eyes are bloodshot from the endless crying.
It is like a circle. It has begun but has no end.
This pain leaves you weak, no energy.
No one to talk to, no one who understands this feeling of knives cutting their way out from the inside with no remorse for organs and tissue.
No reason to wake in the morning, there is nothing to look forward to.
No reason to lay in bed, my mind is too busy to rest.
This pain eludes my mind and reveals itself on my face.
No matter how hard I try to think of what could’ve been,
I’m reminded of what is and what will never be.
Until the day where my knives and daggers have gone,
My tears have dried up,
And my heart returns
This pain will remain, unnerving and unnatural.
Author : Yours Truly
P.s.. ©opyright bitches!
This pain hurts more than a thousand daggers pointed at your softest part.
It began from the chest, and accelerated to the rest of my lifeless body.
As the tears well up in my eyes, my heart races with emotions too strong to describe.
This pain is more than labour. It is more than a flesh wound, cut or a bruise; it is internal.
I blame myself. I caused it I just can’t stop it. My eyes are bloodshot from the endless crying.
It is like a circle. It has begun but has no end.
This pain leaves you weak, no energy.
No one to talk to, no one who understands this feeling of knives cutting their way out from the inside with no remorse for organs and tissue.
No reason to wake in the morning, there is nothing to look forward to.
No reason to lay in bed, my mind is too busy to rest.
This pain eludes my mind and reveals itself on my face.
No matter how hard I try to think of what could’ve been,
I’m reminded of what is and what will never be.
Until the day where my knives and daggers have gone,
My tears have dried up,
And my heart returns
This pain will remain, unnerving and unnatural.
Author : Yours Truly
P.s.. ©opyright bitches!
Friday, May 1, 2009
Today, my name is Family.
Whats better on a nice afternoon then a good ole family brawl? lol.. Wtf!? Just know that half the people in this video are related. Someones moms is jumpin in, someones brother, sister, aunty grandma etc.
Today, my name is Popeyes.
What!? They ain't got no chicken? We can't feed our kids. Thats bad. Cause I'm sure hungry.
LOL.. People like this make me ashamed to be black.. GO HOME AND GO COOK!
LOL.. People like this make me ashamed to be black.. GO HOME AND GO COOK!
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